Hello,
Friday my mother's mother passed away.
The end of an era, the final great grandparent to leave my children.
i am Happy to say they most likely will remember her.
the meals at her house, the holidays spent together.
Life dealt her a sadness that she never was able to overcome.
She met my grandfather, her husband when she was 14 or so,
married him at 15 and had my mother at 16.
He was taken from her 25 or 26 yrs ago...she never accepted that she could have not prevented this.
Her 3rd child had an illness that almost cost the child her life.
A devout Catholic she prayed and vowed if this child lived
she would walk barefoot in the parade for this saint until the child died...never thinking she
would out live the child by 16 or so years.
She was forever profoundly sad and never even realized it.
I am sad she is gone but know she is at peace
also i am relieved my mother will have some rest.
We are headed down this same path with keith's dad.
He looks so frail. I did not to accept this would happen to him so quickly.
I remember driving home the last time i saw joan thinking...'this is the last time
I will talk to her or even see her.
I cannot do this. I want all this over. living is hell after they are gone.'
Light humor...there has been a running joke that i try to return Keith to them
every so often...he tells me NO RETURNS..
so tonight as kiss him bye i tell him i cannot stay but I am leaving him Keith...
he perks up and says what??? don't leave him here!!
So with my glass of wine I toast them both.. to have known and loved and been loved by them.
c
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Hello
Just wanted to say "hi!"
Winter is going OK - Thane is gone a lot & that stinks. This single parenthood thing is for the birds. Parrish is doing well. Belle is plugging along. I am kinda tired and really don't have much to say. I will come back when I have something clever to say.
Winter is going OK - Thane is gone a lot & that stinks. This single parenthood thing is for the birds. Parrish is doing well. Belle is plugging along. I am kinda tired and really don't have much to say. I will come back when I have something clever to say.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
indestructable
Hi, ho,
hi ho,
tearing up the car we go!!
Corinne is back on the streets....and the car is her weapon of choice.
Godlover, she is like an old lady some times and mario andretti others.
I was informed she needs 10 hrs of night time driving.....why?
Just cut em off at dusk until they are better in the daylight.
The winterfest dance was a blurrrr.
lots of students and 25 extra pizzas a gazillion extra chips.
But those sour straws went fast.
The dads that came were agog...dressed like that and let out of the house??
When will the music start...to a back beat of duummduummduumm...out of their hearing range.
Really a lot of fun.
Kevin is now running the 800 m as opposed to the 400m. his feet hurt already.
AND just much is a sam's or costco membership? His tank isn't even 1/2 full.
yawn...
c
hi ho,
tearing up the car we go!!
Corinne is back on the streets....and the car is her weapon of choice.
Godlover, she is like an old lady some times and mario andretti others.
I was informed she needs 10 hrs of night time driving.....why?
Just cut em off at dusk until they are better in the daylight.
The winterfest dance was a blurrrr.
lots of students and 25 extra pizzas a gazillion extra chips.
But those sour straws went fast.
The dads that came were agog...dressed like that and let out of the house??
When will the music start...to a back beat of duummduummduumm...out of their hearing range.
Really a lot of fun.
Kevin is now running the 800 m as opposed to the 400m. his feet hurt already.
AND just much is a sam's or costco membership? His tank isn't even 1/2 full.
yawn...
c
Saturday, February 9, 2013
So Sorry
Carole,
I am so sorry about Keith's Dad. How hard it must be for everyone. I know Julie and I talked about being in the "losing a parent" club and it isn't very fun although it seems we have reached a time in our lives where a lot of my friends are also joining. I do not think there is a day that goes by that I don't think of my Dad. Luckily it doesn't usually bring tears to me eyes anymore. It usually makes me smile when I see, hear, or happen to think of something that reminds me of him. Jim seems to quote him quite often. I don't think he always saw eye to eye with my Dad but it's nice to know he respected his opinion and remembered his words. I'm glad you enjoyed your father-in-law's humor and advice. As you know, we are here for you. Please let us know what we can do to help if Keith needs to go back again.
I don't know how you keep everything straight, Carole. It is pure insanity, isn't it? I was talking to another woman who lives out here about buying a home in Cordova and she said there is a group of families in Fayette County who were considering it. She is going to speak to them and see if they are actually serious. We were thinking if the seven of us went in together, we could get one of those cheap condos just north of the school and use it when needed. I then thought it would probably be better to just rent something somewhere so we wouldn't have to worry about maintenance or taxes. She joked that her husband said he would have never thought his second home would have been in Cordova, TN. I thought I had a solution in going to the library after picking Emerson up and then going to get Carter at 5:30 after play practice but that isn't working out. We haven't been successful in getting a study room (there are only 2) the last few times we've been and last time we were there, he threw a fit and actually started yelling at me (he didn't want to do his homework). I packed everything up and left. He continued with his fit in the car and lost all video games, computer, and time with friends until he completed ALL of his homework. Some wasn't due until Monday but he even had to finish that. Amazingly, he had it all finished Thursday evening (the fit was Wed). He now has to complete all of his homework fit free for at least a month before I will even considering buying him any taekwondo equipment (he is begging for a board to break). He just wears me out sometimes.
Off to bed. Hope everyone has a good week.
Brenda
I am so sorry about Keith's Dad. How hard it must be for everyone. I know Julie and I talked about being in the "losing a parent" club and it isn't very fun although it seems we have reached a time in our lives where a lot of my friends are also joining. I do not think there is a day that goes by that I don't think of my Dad. Luckily it doesn't usually bring tears to me eyes anymore. It usually makes me smile when I see, hear, or happen to think of something that reminds me of him. Jim seems to quote him quite often. I don't think he always saw eye to eye with my Dad but it's nice to know he respected his opinion and remembered his words. I'm glad you enjoyed your father-in-law's humor and advice. As you know, we are here for you. Please let us know what we can do to help if Keith needs to go back again.
I don't know how you keep everything straight, Carole. It is pure insanity, isn't it? I was talking to another woman who lives out here about buying a home in Cordova and she said there is a group of families in Fayette County who were considering it. She is going to speak to them and see if they are actually serious. We were thinking if the seven of us went in together, we could get one of those cheap condos just north of the school and use it when needed. I then thought it would probably be better to just rent something somewhere so we wouldn't have to worry about maintenance or taxes. She joked that her husband said he would have never thought his second home would have been in Cordova, TN. I thought I had a solution in going to the library after picking Emerson up and then going to get Carter at 5:30 after play practice but that isn't working out. We haven't been successful in getting a study room (there are only 2) the last few times we've been and last time we were there, he threw a fit and actually started yelling at me (he didn't want to do his homework). I packed everything up and left. He continued with his fit in the car and lost all video games, computer, and time with friends until he completed ALL of his homework. Some wasn't due until Monday but he even had to finish that. Amazingly, he had it all finished Thursday evening (the fit was Wed). He now has to complete all of his homework fit free for at least a month before I will even considering buying him any taekwondo equipment (he is begging for a board to break). He just wears me out sometimes.
Off to bed. Hope everyone has a good week.
Brenda
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
home
Hi
Keith did indeed make it home.
He is exhausted and so is his dad.
Helpless is the word that comes to mind...not for him but me.
It is very hard for him to grasp the why when he sees his dad making decisions but not
acting on them...he asked for cereal but won't eat it...just move his arms.
It is equally hard for me to try to explain the reason behind it.
My heart tells me it is a matter of a week or two. For this I am very sad.
I will miss his humor and his advice.
I am selfish in a way....i keep thinking I will never be ready for my parents
to leave me. I cannot do this...I do not want to ever go through this.
what will i do, how will i do it from here.
I was thinking today...actually praying for his mom to 'come get him'.
As i write this I suspect I know the day he will die....2/14.
why not? Joan died on 2/2...his birthday so he will die on hers.
how fitting.
c
Keith did indeed make it home.
He is exhausted and so is his dad.
Helpless is the word that comes to mind...not for him but me.
It is very hard for him to grasp the why when he sees his dad making decisions but not
acting on them...he asked for cereal but won't eat it...just move his arms.
It is equally hard for me to try to explain the reason behind it.
My heart tells me it is a matter of a week or two. For this I am very sad.
I will miss his humor and his advice.
I am selfish in a way....i keep thinking I will never be ready for my parents
to leave me. I cannot do this...I do not want to ever go through this.
what will i do, how will i do it from here.
I was thinking today...actually praying for his mom to 'come get him'.
As i write this I suspect I know the day he will die....2/14.
why not? Joan died on 2/2...his birthday so he will die on hers.
how fitting.
c
the stages of grief
hi,
In nursing school prep classes, we learn about the stages of grief.
I think there is one missing. Intolerance for stupidity and insensitivity.
Grief is experienced in everyone differently, but no where do you get
more stupid/insensitive thoughts and actions than "helpers" giving
suggestions to weary caretakers.
It is precisely at this time that the caretaker needs to delegate
some asinine job to this person.
On the flip side...caretakers are the least likely people to recognize that
they are exhausted.
I wish i were there to help Keith deal with this process. He is flailing about
not recognizing the end is near. He is holding on to what he wants to happen
rather than where the road is actually going.
And he is exhausted.
Two of his siblings have gone through this before with his mother.
I think they are pacing themselves.
of the other two,
One is an emotional wreak, the other a physical wreak.
I am keeping up here thanks to the help and prayers of friends.
God is here helping us too.
c
In nursing school prep classes, we learn about the stages of grief.
I think there is one missing. Intolerance for stupidity and insensitivity.
Grief is experienced in everyone differently, but no where do you get
more stupid/insensitive thoughts and actions than "helpers" giving
suggestions to weary caretakers.
It is precisely at this time that the caretaker needs to delegate
some asinine job to this person.
On the flip side...caretakers are the least likely people to recognize that
they are exhausted.
I wish i were there to help Keith deal with this process. He is flailing about
not recognizing the end is near. He is holding on to what he wants to happen
rather than where the road is actually going.
And he is exhausted.
Two of his siblings have gone through this before with his mother.
I think they are pacing themselves.
of the other two,
One is an emotional wreak, the other a physical wreak.
I am keeping up here thanks to the help and prayers of friends.
God is here helping us too.
c
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